


Boxed In

by Murataku



Category: Duncan & Mallory Series - Robert Asprin & Mel White
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:49:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2526209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murataku/pseuds/Murataku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because the perks of being a con-artist make up for the crates and squabbles, in the short-term anyway</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boxed In

The interior of the crate was small, cramped and quite spectacularly uncomfortable. Not coincidentally, the latter two descriptions could also be said to apply to the two occupants of the crate. The former description, however, could NOT be applied (or at least not in full), but that was part of the problem. As simple mathematics would show, it's not easy to fit a 6-foot tall man into a 5-by-3 foot crate, nor is it easy (Though it is, admittedly, easier) to fit a 5-foot-4 woman into the same. Trying to fit them both in at the same time (as was the current situation of the man and woman in question) requires not only careful planning, but also preferably an utter lack of a sense of personal space and near-infinite patience on the part of both occupants. Thankfully, what the current occupants lacked in the first condition, they more than made up for in the second and third. Well, sometimes.

"Sadie, stop moving. You made me lose my place."

Sadie took stock of her current position, trying to see if it was possible for her to comply with her partner's request yet. Despite a great deal of squirming and some minor bruises, the small size of the crate had banished any thoughts of sitting side-by-side into the realms of pure fantasy. Similarly, the good 8 inches of height the man had over her had rendered the idea of her sitting on the floor while he sat in her lap totally unfeasible. Meaning that her current spot, that is, sitting more or less in his lap as they both stretched their legs out and using his chest as backrest, was decided on as being the only remotely comfortable one available that they could hold for any length of time. The only problem was that not only was Bilgewater tall, he was also skinny and annoyingly bony. After making one last attempt to shift whatever was poking her in the back away from her, she settled back against his chest and handed his book back to him with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, Bilge. Can you fault a girl for trying to get comfortable?"

That was answered with a grunt. "Just sit still. This book is finally getting interesting."

Despite the blunt wording in which it was phrased, Bilgewater's complaint didn't bother Sadie. For a start, she was already grumpy at the sheer discomfort of her situation, so a few slightly harsh words weren't going to make it worse. Secondly, that was the entirety of the complaint. It wasn't "Sadie, I'm losing feeling in my legs" or "Sadie, don't sit on me" or even "Sadie, you've got the boniest bum on the planet" or anything like that. Out of all the things that could've been complaint-worthy about their current position, the fact that her squirming made the book he was balancing on her head slide off was the only thing he saw fit to bring up. To someone who didn't know them, this would probably be taken as a sign that they were together or related or something equally amusing. They'd be wrong, of course. Sadie and Bilgewater were partners-in-crime and had been inseparable since they'd met, but their relationship had never gone quite that far. Neither one could tell you where it had gone, but they'd agree it wasn't there, in any case. No, the reason for the utter lack of comment at the proximity to each other they were currently being forced to sit in was simply that they were used to it. A side-effect of being a combination of easily intimidated, prone to dramatic poses (leaning against each other if a wall wasn't available) and constantly on the run (and therefore often forced to hide in small spaces) was that they had both quickly become exceedingly touchy-feely. Not that it prevented them from arguing.

"I don't want to keep still. Let me see the book, Bilge."

"You've already read it."

Forgetting herself, Sadie tipped her head back to look up at her partner's face. This earned her another grunt and the honor of having Bilgewater push her head back into the position he wanted it in, but Sadie decided that she wasn't going to let a small mistake stop her asking her question. "How do you know that?"

"Because you read it at the hotel in the last town we hit, remember? And this is the only book we have."

At that, Sadie pouted. He was right, and she knew it. And worse, so did he. So, before he got the chance to gloat about it (and he would if given half the chance, she knew he would), Sadie changed the subject.

"How much longer are we going to be stuck in here?"

There was a pause, then the calm, measured answer. "Shouldn't be too much longer. Be patient, Sadie. We're hardly going to die in here."

Sadie frowned and looked up at his face again, this time dislodging the book on purpose. "I know that, Bilgewater. It was the knight and the dragon who locked us in here and it's not like they're going to let us starve." She glared at a wall, thinking about that sneaky knight and his dragon buddy, and how he'd tricked her and her companion into this situation. Admittedly, she and Bilgewater had been trying to scam them out of every penny they had at the time, but they always did that. Would it kill Duncan and Mallory to let them win for once?

Bilgewater sighed and put the book down, apparently abandoning all hopes of finishing it that day. The light from the air hole that he was using to read by was dimming, anyway. "Exactly. It shouldn't be much longer. Just try to get some sleep or something." With that, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Seeing as conversation wasn't going to be a viable boredom-buster when the conversee was asleep, Sadie closed her eyes and tried to sleep as well. Eventually, after some more squirming and complaining, she managed to drift off...

...only to be woken up not long afterwards by muffled shouts from outside the crate. Elbowing Bilgewater to wake him, she pointed to the top of the box.

"Looks like our way out's arrived." She whispered, grinning.

In the thin beam of moonlight coming through the air hole, she could see her partner grinning back at her. Although the moonlight was reflecting off his glasses, making it impossible to see his eyes, she knew he was wide-awake and ready to go.

"Well, Sadie? Ready to put on a show?"

Sadie nodded. "Ready."

Quickly, as a crowbar suddenly bit through the wood at the top of the crate and the lid was levered open, they sprang up and greeted their 'rescuers'.

"Omigosh! I'msogladyou'rehereIthoughtweweregonnaDIIIIEEEE!"

"You'll never believe what happened to us it was this mean knight and his vicious dragon they tricked us into getting in here, I swear!"

As they cried and sniveled and spun the bewildered men the most pathetic tale of woe they could cook up, Sadie felt her previous bad mood melting away. There was no use getting grumpy when every new town brought new suckers, new schemes, new money. It also brought new, inventive ways of getting run out of town, but that wouldn't be for a while yet. And in the meantime, she got to lie and cheat and spin tales to make those poor suckers dance to their tunes, practically begging Sadie and Bilge to take their money.

And if that didn't cheer a person up, nothing would.


End file.
